女权主义者的性欲观(读书笔记:杰茜卡瓦伦蒂:《正面全裸的女权主义》卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)笔者直接认为,女权主义者都是些身穿男性西装剪着相公发型叼着香烟不刮腋毛的中性人,直到读了瓦伦蒂那本《正面全裸的女权主义》。未来才了然过来,原本女权主义者也可能有七情六欲的!不止如此,她们的私欲比通常女子更直接,越来越强势,更自私。瓦伦蒂用了总体叁个章节来阐释女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更擅长干那件事(以至任何关于性的提示卡塔尔FEMINISTS
DO IT BETTE库罗德 (AND OTHEMurano SEX
TIPS)》。她直抒己见就自身炫彩“我在床的上面比你行,而那得归功于女权主义。”(I’m
better in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for
it.)现代父权社会对女生有大器晚成种自相嫌恶的双重规范:一方面,女孩子在青天白日负责“守贞教育”,早上则在TV上来看“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面,女孩被教导说婚前性行为是颠来倒去的,其他方面又报告您,你若想成为一名春假辣妹,你飞快对着镜头宽衣解带吧!(When
you’re getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone
Wild commercials at night, it’s not exactly easy to develop a healthy
sexuality. You’re taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but
that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you’d better start making
out for the
camera.)守贞文学家是如此来教育女子的:“你们的肌体正是生机勃勃根棒棒糖。当你们与女婿产生性关系时,他剥去你的伪装,含吮起来。那个时候可能认为不错,可可惜的是,他与您完事后,你们留给下壹个人伴侣的便是衣冠不整,口水臭味的流毒。”(“Your
body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps
your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but
unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next
partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.
“)够耸人据书上说的。可是女权主义者不吃那朝气蓬勃套。瓦伦蒂建议的口号是:“小编的处女膜作者做主!(Our
Hymens, Ourselves
)”她说:“小编并未闹精通处女贞操有怎么样大不断,真的。笔者的贞操在中学时期就被一名男友没怎么费劲就夺去了。大家后来还约会了几许年呢。小编还以为会有何样新鲜的认为啊,未有。作者总以为这种把处女贞操当成出水水芙蓉一遍事很愚蠢。所以您能够诬捏,当自个儿发掘自身原本是被用过即弃的垃圾堆时有多愕然。”(I
have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity.
Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school
boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel
different—I didn’t. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always
seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was
just a used-up piece of trash without
it.)作者相比纳闷的是,女权主义者总体上是鄙夷男生的。然则在拍卖本身的性欲时,她们对老头子的情态明显又是另生龙活虎番风光。诚然,她们与女婿上床,再亦非为了避凉附炎娃他爹,更不是为着薪火相传,而纯粹是为着本身的兴奋。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话,正是:黄金年代边做女权主义者,意气风发边交配!(f***ing
while feminist
!)只是,面临一人性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴,哪一位小男生消受得起?

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本身一贯感到,女权主义者都以些身穿男子西装剪着恋人发型叼着烟卷不刮腋毛的中性人,直到读了瓦伦蒂那本《正面全裸的女权主义》。

(部分翻译仅凭个人认为,不完全依照原来的书文翻译卡塔 尔(阿拉伯语:قطر‎

几日前才明白过来,原本女权主义者也可以有七情六欲的!不仅仅如此,她们的欲念比多如牛毛女人更直接,更加强势,更自私。

As I look back on my experiences, it’s interesting to reflect on how my
perspectives have changed.

瓦伦蒂用了全部三个章节来演讲女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者越来越长于干那事(以至此外关于性的唤醒卡塔尔FEMINISTS
DO IT BETTEENCORE (AND OTHE凯雷德 SEX TIPS)》。

When I started out, each and every twist and turn I encountered,
whether in the markets or in my life in general, looked really big and
dramatic up close, like unique life-or-death experiences that were
coming at me fast.

她快人快语就我绚烂“小编在床面上比你行,而这得归功于女权主义。”(I’m better
in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for it.)

(刚起首的时候,感觉商场和生存中的碰着的挫败与难点,特别了不起,像非常的危险的涉世卡塔尔国

今世父权社会对妇女有少年老成种自相嫌恶的双重标准:一方面,女生在青霄白日收受“守贞教育”,下午则在电视上看看“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面,女孩被教育说婚前性行为是异形的,其他方面又报告你,你若想成为一名春假辣妹,你飞快对着镜头宽衣解带吧!(When
you’re getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone
Wild commercials at night, it’s not exactly easy to develop a healthy
sexuality. You’re taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but
that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you’d better start making
out for the camera.)

With time and experience, I came to see each encounter as “another one
of those” that I could approach more calmly and analytically, like a
biologist might approach an encounter with a threatening creature in the
jungle: first identifying its species and then, drawing on his prior
knowledge about its expected behaviors, reacting appropriately.

守贞史学家是这样来教育女人的:“你们的肉体就是后生可畏根棒棒糖。当你们与男子产生性关系时,他剥去你的外衣,含吮起来。这时候恐怕认为不错,可缺憾的是,他与您完事后,你们留给下一人伴侣的便是衣冠不整,口水臭味的糟粕。”(“Your
body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps
your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but
unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next
partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker. “)

(随着岁数和涉世的增高,境遇新主题素材尤为冷静管理卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)

够耸人传闻的。不过女权主义者不吃那意气风发套。瓦伦蒂提议的口号是:“作者的处女膜笔者做主!(Our
Hymens, Ourselves )

就像威尼斯手机平台,biologist, 首先识别难点,寻找先验知识,然后选拔适度的走动。**

”她说:“笔者从未闹领会处女贞操有怎么样大不断,真的。作者的贞操在中学时期就被一名男盆友没怎么费事就夺去了。大家后来还约会了几许年啊。笔者还感觉会有啥样新鲜的以为吗,未有。小编总感到这种把处女贞操当成绝代佳人三回事很愚蠢。所以你能够想像,当笔者开掘本人原本是被用过即弃的污源(或棒棒糖卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)时有多愕然。”(I
have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity.
Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school
boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel
different—I didn’t. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always
seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was
just a used-up piece of trash (or candy) without it.)

When I was faced with types of situations I had encountered before, I
drew on the principles I had learned for dealing with them. 

自己相比纳闷的是,女权主义者总体上是不屑风流罗曼蒂克顾汉子的。然而在管理本身的情欲时,她们对娃他爸的无奇不有分明又是另风流倜傥番景致。诚然,她们与娇妻上床,再亦非为了讨好夫君,更不是为了传宗接代,而纯粹是为着和煦的快乐。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话,正是:后生可畏边做女权主义者,后生可畏边交欢!(Fucking
while feminist !)

(在此之前碰着的主题材料,使用已经学到的基准卡塔 尔(阿拉伯语:قطر‎

只是,直面壹位性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴,哪一个人小哥们消受得起?

But when I ran into ones I hadn’t seen before, I would be painfully
surprised. Studying all those painful first-time encounters, I learned
that even if they hadn’t happened to me, most of them had happened to
other people in other times and places, which gave me a healthy respect
for history, a hunger to have a universal understanding of how reality
works, and the desire to build timeless and universal principles for
dealing with it.

(对于以前没碰到的新主题材料,不会认为忧伤。因为开掘,固然那么些难题,以前笔者没遇见过,其余人也会遇见过。所以小编非常重视历史,渴望明白具体到底是怎么运维的,并渴望创设稳固和周围的条件来处理它。卡塔 尔(阿拉伯语:قطر‎(一言以蔽之:认知现实的面目,并树立
布满的尺度去处理它, 布满大概能够清楚为 合适的 正确的 卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)

Watching the same things happen again and again, I began to see
reality as a gorgeous perpetual motion machine, in which causes become
effects that become causes of new effects, and so on.

(看着同后生可畏的事务叁回又贰次地发生,小编起来把具体看成是叁个美不胜收的永动机,此中的从头到尾的经过成为了震慑成为新职能的要素,等等。大致是
a发生b,b又生出了c卡塔 尔(英语:State of Qatar)

I realized that reality was, if not perfect, at least what we are given
to deal with, so that any problems or frustrations I had with it were
more productively directed to dealing with them effectively than
complaining about them. I came to understand that my encounters were
tests of my character and creativity. Over time, I came to appreciate
what a tiny and short-lived part of that remarkable system I am, and how
it’s both good for me and good for the system for me to know how to
interact with it well.

In gaining this perspective, I began to experience painful moments in a
radically different way. Instead of feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, I
saw pain as nature’s reminder that there is something important for me
to learn. Encountering pains and figuring out the lessons they were
trying to give me became sort of a game to me.

The more I played it, the better I got at it, the less painful those
situations became, and the more rewarding the process of reflecting,
developing principles, and then getting rewards for using those
principles became.I learned to love my struggles, which I suppose is a
healthy perspective to have, like learning to love exercising (which I
haven’t managed to do yet).

In my early years, I looked up to extraordinarily successful people,
thinking that they were successful because they were extraordinary.
After I got to know such people personally, I realized that all of
them—like me, like everyone—make mistakes, struggle with their
weaknesses, and don’t feel that they are particularly special or great.
They are no happier than the rest of us, and they struggle just as much
or more than average folks. Even after they surpass their wildest
dreams, they still experience more struggle than glory. This has
certainly been true for me.

While I surpassed my wildest dreams decades ago, I am still struggling
today.In time, I realized that the satisfaction of success doesn’t come
from achieving your goals, but from struggling well.To understand what I
mean, imagine your greatest goal, whatever it is—making a ton of money,
winning an Academy Award, running a great organization, being great at a
sport. Now imagine instantaneously achieving it.

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You’d be happy at first, but not for long. You would soon find yourself
needing something else to struggle for. Just look at people who attain
their dreams early— the child star, the lottery winner, the professional
athlete who peaks early. They typically don’t end up happy unless they
get excited about something else bigger and better to struggle
for. Since life brings both ups and downs, struggling well doesn’t just
make your ups better; it makes your downs less bad.

I’m still strugglingand I will until I die, because even if I try to
avoid the struggles, they will find me.

Thanks to all that struggling and learning, I have done everything I
wanted to do,
gone everywhere I wanted to go, met whomever I wanted to
meet, gotten everything I wanted to own, had a career that has been
enthralling, and, most rewardingly, had many wonderful relationships.I
have experienced the full range, from having nothing to having an
enormous amount, and from being a nobody to being a somebody, so I know
the differences.
While I experienced them going from the bottom up
rather than from the top down (which was preferable and probably
influenced my perspective), my assessment is that the incremental
benefits of having a lot and being on top are not nearly as great as
most people think.

Having the basics—a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good
food, and good sex—is most important, and those things don’t get much
better when you have a lot ofmoney or much worse when you have less.

And the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special
than those one meets at the bottom or in between.

The marginal benefits of having more fall off pretty quickly. In fact,
having a lot more is worse than having a moderate amount more because it
comes with heavy burdens. Being on top gives you a wider range of
options, but it also requires more of you. Being well-known is probably
worse than being anonymous, all things considered. And while the
beneficial impact one can have on others is great, when you put it in
perspective, it is still infinitesimally small. For all those reasons, I
cannot say that having an intense life filled with accomplishments is
better than having a relaxed life filled with savoring, though I can say
that being strong is better than being weak, and that struggling gives
one strength.

My nature being what it is, I would not have changed my life, but I
can’t tell you what is best for you. That is for you to choose. What I
have seen is that the happiest people discover their own nature and
match their life to it.

Now that my desire to succeed has given way to a desire to help others
succeed, that’s become my current struggle. It’s now clear to me that my
purpose, your purpose, and the purpose of everything else is to evolve
and to contribute to evolution in some small way.I didn’t think about
that at the start; I just went after the things I wanted. But along the
way I evolved, and now I am sharing these principles with you to help
you evolve too.I realized that passing on knowledge is like passing on
DNA—it is more important than the individual, because it lives way
beyond the individual’s life. This is my attempt to help you succeed by
passing along to you what I learned about how to struggle well—or, at
the very least, to help you get the most out of each unit of effort you
put in.

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